If at 1st you don’t succeed…
If at first you don’t succeed, so much for Skydiving. - Henry Youngman
If at first you don’t succeed, so much for Skydiving. - Henry Youngman
“Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.” ~Aristotle
Research tells us that more than 55% of face to face communication is body language. 15% is tone of voice, and the other 30% is words that are actually said. But, the often not mentioned statistic is that your actions override your words, your tone, and your body language 100% of the time.
If you want to know who someone really is, than you have to watch what they really do.
I really enjoy mountain biking. And one story I will never forget is when I met a guy, let’s call him “Biker Bob,” at a bike shop. And as we talked, he told me about all his gear, his amazing skills, his experience in the swiss alps on the race tour, etc. Later that day I went biking down a ski mountain with Biker Bob. Biker Bob was passed by everyone, including me and at least 3 other guys that had no idea what they were doing. We all finished the trail and waited a good 10 minutes for Biker Bob to come stumbling out of the woods.
I learned a valuable lesson that day. Biker Bob had a lot of gear, a lot of talk, and a lot of confidence. But Biker Bob did not have the skills, the action, or the results to match it up.
You can look the part, talk the part, and have the confidence of the part. But your actions and your results override talk and confidence any day.
Dave Barry (a great humor columnist) once said that if you go out to dinner with a “nice person,” and they do not treat the waiter nicely, than that person is not a nice person.
I couldn’t agree more Dave.
3 Question Reality Check
1. Do people you encounter know what you believe by what they see you do?
2. Are your actions saying good things or bad things about you?
3. Have you thought about how that could impact your business results?
Simple I know. But, a profound reminder to work on your actions and who you really rather then all the work on image and words that is so easy to focus on.
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow them where they lead.
— Louisa May Alcott
We have aspirations. We all set goals. When we go to the grocery store and set goals on what to buy or how fast we can finish and get home. At work we can rush to be done at 5 pm, and set goals to be home by a certain time. We set goals to be out of Iraq as a country, or who we think should be in a political position. We set goals to live a great life and make big money.
Bottom line is that it is easy to set goals and much harder to achieve them. As a matter of fact, we can set a goal in 3 seconds to make a million dollars, or win the Olympics, or fly to the moon. But setting a goal is not helpful unless we can take action to achieve those goals. Often a goal simply turns into “wishful thinking.” Because, those goals are for the most part out of our hands. Don’t get me wrong, we can dream and work to achieve them, which is very valuable, but whether or not you achieve them is not always directly in your control. But other things are.
For example, a salesperson can set a goal to sell 1 million in product in 6 months. But, the salesperson doesn’t really have control over who buys or how much. Therefore, the goal is a great dream and an excellent target, but not a goal. It is too easy to brush it off later as too high, or out of your hands, or the economy took a dive.
A good goal is always in your control. A good goal is achievable and measurable. Which means the salesperson, although they can’t control who buys and for how much, they can control how many calls they make, how many presentations they make, how much time they spend sharpening their skills and product knowledge, how much networking they do, and how well they remain motivated and prepared. A good goal is something that is in your control, and you treat it as non-negotiable. You view them as something that you can do, and will do each day before quitting time. Never letting yourself out of it by way of excuse or laziness. Because, after all, it is in your control and you either do it and get closer to your success, or you don’t do it and move further away from your dreams.
No action is neutral when it comes to achievement. Every action is either bringing you closer or further away from where you want to be.
Goals are not wishful thinking, like they are so often used. They are much more valuable then that, they are your key to moving forward, out of the Status Quo and into seeing your dreams become reality.
That type of goal leaves you with no choice but to take action. When goals are in your control, they keep you out of the clouds and into moving toward your dreams one achievable and measurable step at a time. Dream big, and then take action to achieve your daily goals.
It is easy to know where you are, sometimes it is easy to know where you want to be. But the real challenge is found between now and then. This is where success happens, in daily achievable activity set to the measurement of a goal.
May you see your highest aspirations in the sun and start walking, or better yet running toward them each day when you wake up. Dreaming is easier done in bed. But reward and success is found up and moving toward the sun.
Riddle: 5 Frogs are sitting on a log. 4 frogs decide to jump off. How many frogs are sitting on the log?
Answer: 5 frogs. Deciding to do something and actually doing something are 2 different things.
I was having some short and rapid discussions today. I realized I really didn’t have time to go through a lot of thinking processes before I responded. I simply had to respond. And this is a common occurrence for us all the time. We are in situations where we don’t have the luxury of following the normal response pattern of stimulus, thought, and response. And we are simply stimulus - response.
This happens when you are playing sports and your body just responds quickly to a ball or other player’s movements, when a fighter jet pilot has to respond to a situation, when a kid runs in front of your car, or when your foot comes off the gas and onto the break as you drive when you see a police car- whether you were speeding or not. But it also happens in conversations, business deals, and arguments with a spouse. It is in these moments that you don’t have time to answer the way you always should, or the way you want other’s to perceive you. In these moments you answer from who you really are. You answer from passion, emotion, instinct, and conditioning.
So, if you hear a great speaker, read a good book, or go to a conference. Unless you are able to understand a concept, internalize the thought, and then practice the behavior, all that knowledge will do you little good when you need it most. The split second decisions and words that come from inside your reservoir of true knowledge and passion, they are developed. You can shape them and mold them so it changes who you really are. Then, in those split second moments, you don’t have to think or try, but simply BE… who you really are.
What are you doing to develop who you are personally, professionaly, socially, emotionally, physically, or spiritually?
May I encourage you today to set aside 30 minutes minimum a day to read a book, listen to audio, talk with a friend that challenges you, or whatever you may find to develop who you are. Seek to truly understand, Internalize it, and apply it.
What better thing could you possibly build into than a better, truer, and more authentic you?
- Jon Bohm